


The boy who lived...a sexuality crisis (at 6.560 feet of altitude)

by MarchnoGirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blow Jobs, Christmas Tree, Christmas holiday, Come Swallowing, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Complete, Dirty Dreams, Dirty Thoughts, Draco Malfoy Has Long Hair, Drinking & Talking, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Flirting, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, POV Harry Potter, Post-Hogwarts, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rimming, Self-Discovery, Sexuality Crisis, Shower Sex, Slow Build, Smut, Unresolved Sexual Tension, mention of anxiety, mention of heterosexual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-05 03:17:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16802572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarchnoGirl/pseuds/MarchnoGirl
Summary: Harry's on holiday at Italian Alps for his first white week. He'll find out it's not the only thing he'll try for the first time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 25 days of Draco and Harry challenge 2018, base on 25 prompt pics.  
> I'm still new on this world, but I saw this challenge and I got very interested so I thought "why not?".
> 
> This work is based on 5 of the 25 images, so it is divided into 5 chapters. 
> 
> **Disclaimer** : All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 1**

****

In less than two weeks, it would have been Christmas and - at the same time - their 4th anniversary, so Ginny asked Harry to do something to celebrate. How she counted their years together was still a mystery. After the Battle they continued to get on and off again, and now it was almost a year together without too many problems. Harry didn’t know what was wrong: he loved Ginny, but sometimes little things annoyed him too much like her way to always hug him from behind squeezing her boobs on his back, or how she always wanted to kiss him and hold his hand in public. Why would someone be so blatant about their relationship? Also, they argued… a lot. For these reasons and so many others, such as sex. Harry knew he had a problem, but he didn’t want to discuss it constantly, for god’s sake! He was convinced that the war and all of those years living in danger and constant vigilance made him put sex in background. Naturally his prick worked perfectly fine, _thanksverymuch_ , he just wasn’t all that interested in having sex or blowjobs or hand jobs or… ok, there was something wrong but that was it and Ginny should have learnt to accept him how he was.

Anyway, finally, they found a compromise. Sometimes sex was good, Ginny understood love isn’t all about sex, and Harry learnt to care more about her, little presents sometimes without reason, a hug, a kiss on the cheek when they were out with their friends, and things like that. But this was too much: a week in the Italian Alps in a fucking mountain retreat at 6.560 feet of altitude, with spa, thermal treatments, skiing equipment, Ron and Hermione.

He loved them, but they were insufferable together in close spaces for more than 2 hours, no wonder an entire week. … guess their friends had a point when they said he was no more capable of fun and he was always grumpy. That’s why in the end he said he’d go.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t complain about it in his mind, drinking a glass of good Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey in his favorite chair of the living room.

_**December 21st, 2003 – The day before the holiday** _

“Haaaaarry, looooove!” Ginny’s voice came from the bedroom while Harry was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. “Have you finished your suitcase? It seems a bit empty!”. Harry wiped his mouth, sighed and left the bathroom. “Honey you know I am a light traveler, don’t worry, it’s all packed,” he said entering their bedroom.

Ginny was beautiful that night, with her black silken nightdress and her high ponytail. It made her facial traits sharper and he liked that. Maybe it could be one of _those_ nights. Harry walked over to the bed and sat down, bringing Ginny on top of himself. She looked surprised but quickly regained control of herself and smiled to Harry: “You’re pushing tonight”. “It’s just that you’re beautiful Gin.” He kissed her and switched their positions so that now Ginny was lying on the bed and Harry was on top of her. His cock was still flaccid, but Ginny knew how to deal with it: she turned so that her ass was pushing to his prick and started rolling her hips. If there was something Harry really couldn’t resist, it was taking her from behind, on all fours.

Harry felt his cock filling with every roll of her hips until he pulled her from the waist so that she was on all fours and he undressed her. With a hand he shoved his own pajama bottoms down together with his pants and conjured some lube… “No, wait!” Ginny called “I don’t want to do it like that, Harry, fuck! I don’t want to give you my ass, I want to have properly sex!”. Ginny sounded angry and Harry didn’t know what to say. “But…you said you like it!” he still had his hand covered with lube. “Yes, but not always, for merlin! It’s acceptable sometimes, but I’d really love to have sex like normal couples from time to time”. Ok, that was reasonable, but …

“Oh my god!” she shrieked “your cock is already soft! What the fuck, Harry!”.

“What did you expect? You’re shouting at me, it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world…” Ginny sighed heavily and with trembling voice said: “I can’t understand what the problem is, Harry. Don’t you like me? It almost seems like you don’t want to see me in the face during sex and I’m so tired of this." She had tears at the corner of her eyes and Harry felt like he was the worst human being on Earth. “Of course, I like you Ginny, don’t even think about it! It’s just… I… I can’t really explain what it is, I’m so sorry.” With that he took a pillow and a blanket and went sleeping on the couch. Ginny remained in the bedroom, sobbing quietly.

Next morning was the one of the departure. Harry didn’t sleep a minute that night. He always had problems sleeping even after the Battle, because of nightmares and a generalized anxiety and it got worse when he had an argument with Ginny. During nights like these he usually thought of everything, with mixed feelings.

He thought about the years with the Dursley and how they mistreated him; he didn’t know that when he was a child but starvation, segregation, isolation from peers… they abused him in the true sense of the word. Then he got lucky because he found out he was a wizard and entered a completely new world where he was rich and had friends and… there was a maniac who tried to kill him every year.

He had fun playing Quidditch, going to Hogsmeade, with his friends in the dormitories, but deeply he always had death breathing on his neck, he always lived with fear, misunderstandings, half-truths.

Then he thought about the war, the fear of losing the loved ones, a fear that turned out to be founded, the constant feeling of guilt in his gut. He couldn’t help but feeling like he owed the wizarding world the losses of the war because he couldn’t do better and couldn’t defeat Voldemort alone.

Then there were the death eaters’ trials where everyone wanted something from him: pity, justice, help, a hand to shake, his opinion on matters. And he just didn’t feel up to the task, he wasn’t a hero, he was just a seventeen years old guy, he didn’t hold the truth in his hands and he couldn’t help everyone.

Draco Malfoy’s trial was one of the hardest and still resounded in his head. Harry was so torn between believing he deserved a second chance and thinking he did very bad things for which he deserved punishment. He knew Malfoy had the influence of his father, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t a choice; it was still true that a crazy man threatening you and your family didn’t help making a different choice. In the end, he testified for him and he was happy he did. But Malfoy seemed seriously in a sorry state and Harry simply couldn’t avoid feeling useless. Moreover, there was that time in the bathroom at Hogwarts. Harry still thought that maybe if he hadn’t reacted so badly, maybe he could have helped him. He seemed in serious difficulty and pain; he could have offered some help. However, they were hard times even for him and they certainly weren’t on good terms, it would have been a hard choice to stop and talk to Malfoy. Now though, with everyone thinking at him like a saint, he was retracing his steps, and everything seemed confused and variable and in a gray area.

Finally, there was all the anxiety derived from the expectations people had on him, even now, 5 years after Voldemort. Everyone wanted him to be an Auror and he joined them, he really wanted to be one, but then they made him Head of Team, after only a year on the field, and expected him to be always perfect, impeccable, resolute, with a happy life, a happy wife, children and he just couldn’t breathe if he thought about those things all together.

Fuck, these were the worst nights. Nothing could help him, not teas nor herbs or potions. He would just lay awake, with his heart rate raising, his breathing hard and difficult, his chest aching like he was holding inside a big monster that tried to escape tearing his ribs apart and he wouldn’t sleep.

But he was leaving for a holiday, it was supposed to calm one’s nerves, right? Right.

_**December 22nd, 2003 - First day of holiday** _

Hermione knew. She always knew when there was something wrong with Harry. Ginny and he arrived at the Portkey point without talking or holding hands, they weren’t even looking at each other.

With their gruesome faces they arrived in Italy at 2 p.m. and started arguing almost immediately.  
“I can’t understand why we took a Portkey if now we have to do a 3 hours walk to arrive at our retreat! We could have arrived directly there!” Ginny was making this complaint since they first booked the Portkey.  
“Because there’s no point in going to a mountain retreat if you don’t take a proper look at the landscape! I’ve never gone to a White Week before, I’d like to experience it in the right way!” Harry was so fed up with this argument and with having to explain himself. If she didn’t want to do this walk, she could have taken another Portkey arriving at the retreat by herself. When he pointed this out, even Ron had a reproachful face: “It’s supposed to be something you do together mate.”

Thus, when they finally arrived there, after 3 long and silent hours of walk, Harry was already thinking about coming back home. They all checked-in together and went to their rooms, which were adjacent, to unpack the suitcases. After Harry finished unpacking, he sat on the bed; Ginny was in the bathroom taking a shower after the _“horrible and absolutely useless walk”_. He was thinking a way to live peacefully the next six days when he heard a knock on the door. He went to open it and he found Hermione looking at him with a concerned smile on her face and a book: “Fancy a tea in the entrance hall? I said Ron I wanted to read to get rid of him.” She winked and made a nod of encouragement to Harry. He scribbled a note to Ginny “went reading with Hermione” and followed her to the lobby.

It was lovely: entirely made of wood with a fire place and big armchairs in circles around little tea tables. On every armchair there was a blanket and on the tables some books. It was cozy and there was this vague scent of chamomile in the air that made Harry instantly relax. He always liked the smell of chamomile. They quietly sat on two armchairs besides the fire place and Harry looked outside the windows: there was a big snowy Pine tree decorated with Christmas lights of all colors. He saw it when they arrived, but he couldn’t give it proper consideration since he was glooming about his argument with Ginny, but it was truly beautiful. Harry always loved Christmas trees, they cheered him up and remembered him of Hogwarts, the first place where he learnt to love (not only Christmas). They asked the keeper two hot teas and when they arrived, Hermione took a sip and looked at Harry very carefully.

“Listen, I know there’s something wrong between you and Ginny. I’d like to talk about it Harry, you know you can be honest with me”.

He didn’t truly know what to say; he loved Hermione and at this point he was grateful she and Ron were here with them, but he was always uncomfortable talking about whatever-was-it with Ginny and so he went defensive: “Nothing ‘Mione, we often fight, you know that, you and Ron are the same.” Wrong thing to say, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it.

“Oh Harry, it’s not me and Ron we’re talking about. It’s not just that you fight, it’s that you can’t even look at her face!”

“That’s not… I… err, I don’t know if I can talk about it with you Herm.”

“Why? What is it?”

“Err.. it’s just.. we never talked about things like these before, have we?” Harry was blushing and started feeling hot and he was ready to blame it on the fire place.

“Which _things_ Harry?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“…sex and stuff”. He murmured with a low voice, looking intently at his mug. They never talked about things like that and it was silly, actually. They shared so much in the tent during the hunt of horcruxes, but it simply wasn’t an argument that came up frequently between them.

“Oh.” She seemed surprised. “Ok. Would you prefer to talk to Ron?” She was starting to blush too and she moved as if to stand up.

“No! God, no. Ron is even worse, he’s always so prudish and he never talks about these things. Neither at school, with Seamus, Dean and the others. They talked about sex and Ron would always stay quiet, not joining the conversation. I mean… I mean, of course he knew stuff, we all saw him with Lavender. I mean, oh Merlin, I just mean he doesn’t talk about things if not in an ironic and funny way. Oh! Not that I think it’s funny between you, it’s just.. err.” Harry had his hands on his eyes and he was red in the face like a tomato and when he looked at Hermione she had crinkles at her eyes and a hand on her mouth as if she…was restraining from laughing! What idiots they were! They shared a look and started laughing so much they had tears at their eyes.

After a moment Hermione calmed herself, took a deep breath and tried to regain control. “Ok, sex is the problem. We can talk about it!”

“Yes. Ok, yes. It’s weird. But yeah, I’ll need to talk with someone sooner or later.” Harry wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie and took a sip of his tea now cold. He cleared his throat and tried again: “Do you and Ron do it… frequently?”

“Emh, ok so now we’re blunt. You’re funny Harry. What do you mean by "frequently"? We do it a reasonable amount, I suppose. Ow, this is weird.” She paused for a moment laughing lightly and Harry was relieved they could talk about it. “It’s something that comes naturally, isn’t it? At first, after the war, we… well, we were doing it all the time. I think it was something like <we are free now, we have to recover lost time>. Now we’ve settled, and we live together and it’s more <we have all the time to do it, it’s not the end of the world if we wait tomorrow>.”

“Mmmmh.. ok, ok. Once a month could be considered normal?”

“Harry, it’s not about how many times you do it, but how it is when you do it. Do you enjoy it? Do you want to do it?” Harry couldn’t understand how, but she always knew the right thing to say.

“I… don’t know. I honestly can’t answer you. I like Ginny, I really do, but I just don’t want to have sex with her all the time. I don’t… I don’t particularly enjoy it or blowjobs or.. and oh my god you’re thinking I’m weird and asexual or things.”

“Harry, relax and take a deep breath. I don’t think you’re weird or things. When you say you like Ginny… do you like her as a sister or more? Because Harry if you’re no more in love with her it’s okay, it happens sometimes. You thought it was love and then it was just a deep friendship. We wouldn’t judge you and it would be better to be happy apart than sad together.”

Sad together. It was strong to hear. “Hermione.. she’s Ron’s sister.”

“Don’t be stupid! It would be difficult for Molly and Arthur and maybe even for Ron, they love you together, but you are part of their family and you know that. They wouldn’t kick you out!”

“Ok let’s say we break up. And I search for someone else,” Harry hesitated a minute to find the right words, “what if I don’t like it with them too? Herm, I really doesn’t feel those kinds of things when I look at women. And I’ve tried seeing porn too, you know. But I just didn’t enjoy it enough…” saying it was harder than he thought.

“Mh. Harry, have you ever thought that maybe you’re not into women?” from the way her eyes lighted up, Hermione seemed amused by this. Harry pulled a face: she shouldn’t be, she was supposed to help him and comfort him, not to mock him!

“Hey! You should be by my side!” They were laughing together when the door of the entrance hall opened and a noisy group of friends entered laughing, covered in snow. Harry and Hermione turned their faces to them and their mouths dropped open.

Just there Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott and Gregory Goyle were walking through the hall towards the rooms.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other with widened eyes and darted to their rooms. They arrived just a minute after the Slytherin gang reached a room at the end of the corridor. Harry went inside his room while Hermione went to call Ron to later re-group in Harry and Ginny’s room. But when Harry entered his room, he found Ginny curled up on the bed with her knees bent over her chest and her head rested on them. When she felt Harry’s arrival she looked up and she had red shiny eyes, like she finished cried just a moment ago. “Merlin! What happened Gin?” Harry run to her, sitting on the bed and enveloping her in a tight hug. She propped her head on his shoulder and calmly told him she wasn’t happy. She wanted to, she had always wanted to be with Harry and now she just couldn’t keep on like this. She missed his friend Harry.

And Harry had no words. He could understand her, of course he could, but he was shocked too. He always thought that _he_ was the problem, that _he_ had the problem, while Ginny was fine.

“I’m sorry Gin. I didn’t know you were so unhappy, and I feel such a shit I didn’t see it. I don’t want you to be sad.”

She raised her head and looked him in the eyes: “Are you happy Harry?” It was a tough question and he had to look away to answer her: “Sometimes I think I can’t be happy anymore Ginny.” She hugged him tighter and whispered: “You’ll be and I don’t want to lose you. Promise me.”

“Never, I promise. I just need to figure out things, I believe. This won’t be easy Ginny but I love you and I can’t imagine not staying friend with you.”  
“Me neither, Harry.” They remained silent for a bit, holding onto each other.  
When the silence became overwhelming, Harry tried for small conversation: “There’s a beautiful Pine right outside this retreat, have you seen it? It gives me such strong Christmas vibes, I like it.”

“Oh, I didn’t see it. I guess we aren’t living a proper Christmas this year, but I’ll check for it later.” Ginny got up and went to the bathroom to clean her face and her voice came from there: “Oh Harry, what were you doing with Hermione?”. Shit! Malfoy!

“Ginny, I almost forgot! Hermione and I, we had a news for you guys. You’ll never guess who we met in the entrance hall. And.. where are she and Ron? She said they would have immediately reached us.”

“Ah, I was talking with Ron while you were gone. I’m sorry Harry but he understood something was off and he wanted to talk. He helped me so much but then I asked him to leave me alone to talk with you, so I think they’re waiting for us. Who did you meet?”

“I’ll call them and we’ll tell you together! It’s big news!” Harry quickly went to call Ron and Hermione and together they reached Ginny.

“What? What is it? Harry, if it’s for the break up, I already know. I’m sorry but if you weren’t happy together then…”

“Ron, maybe we’ll have this conversation in private, yes? Now, big news. Have you told him ‘Mione?” Harry was so eager to share who was right there right now with them.

“No Harry, I was waiting for you” Hermione said between laughs and smirks.

“Good! We saw Malfoy in the entrance hall!” Harry shouted it and Ginny and Ron looked between him and Hermione, opening and closing their mouths without saying anything.

“Oh Merlin’s tits Harry, are you bloody kidding me? What is he doing here alone? Do you think he’s spying on us?”

“No Ron, he’s not alone, there are also Parkinson, Goyle, Nott and Zabini with him. They didn’t see us.”

“So what, do we have to share time with them? Say “hello” and drink tea with them in the hall? They’ll ruin our holiday! I don’t like this, it seems like a conspiracy to me!”

“Ron don’t be silly. We’ll surely say hello, we’re not barbarians and the war finished years ago. We can be civil and it’s not like we have to spend time together. We probably won’t meet each other for a long time. Now get a move, I’m starving!”

“Man, she still scares me sometimes, you know.” Ron whispered to Harry and he smiled because he could count on them to be the same good friends they always were during school. Harry turned to Ginny and she smiled at him. It was a stretched smile: the next six days would have been hard, but he knew he could always count on her too.


	2. Chapter 2

_**First day of holiday - Dinner** _

_**** _

As they were going to the dining room, Hermione pulled lightly Harry from the elbow to take him to walk beside her. They were a bit behind Ginny and Ron who were talking about the upcoming Quidditch games, and Hermione whispered to him: “Harry, are you ok? We’ll have to stay here another six days. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but with your anxiety and this situation maybe it would be better to come back home.”

“Hermione, I’m ok. I don’t want to ruin our Christmas and my anxiety is much better such as my nightmares.” That wasn’t entirely true, but he wasn’t at ease sharing his difficulties with others, that’s why he always discarded the idea of seeing a therapist. After the war, almost all of his friends went to therapists or mediwizards and witches, but Harry always declined the suggestion. He dealt with Voldemort, he definitely could have faced nightmares.

“I’m just worried about you and Ginny.”

“Don’t be. After this holiday, we’ll have time to deal with this in the right way.”

“Ok, but tell me if you need help, yes?”

“I think I’ll need it more when we’ll come back and we’ll have to deliver the news to the Weasleys.” Harry’s chest ached at the thought and Hermione smiled, trying to reassure him.

They arrived at the dining room and it was lovely. It was simple but welcoming, with big long wooden tables and long benches to sit, carved directly from tree trunks. It created a sentiment of affection and community between the diners and, together with the fire place, made the atmosphere warmer. To complete the lovely mood, a grand piano stood in a corner.

When Harry and the others arrived for dinner the room was semi-empty. The tables were covered in red tableclothes and there were garlands and mistletoes hanging from the ceiling. Christmas was in the air and that helped to remain in a good mood. They sat at the far end of a table chatting of this and that. While the keeper was telling them what the menu offered that night, Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherins made their appearance and, as soon as they saw them, they froze. Goyle and Nott seemed less impressed; they waved a hand in their direction and quickly went to sit to the other table of the room. Pansy blinked a few times without taking her eyes off them and Blaise whispered something to Malfoy who calmly approached to greet them. “Potter. What were the odds?” The other two just nodded to them and joined Nott and Goyle at the table.

After a moment of silence, Ron asked with a harsh tone: “Malfoy. What are you doing here?” Harry didn’t look willing to talk with him, he just sat there staring at him.

Malfoy changed. He had long hair now, gathered in what could only be called a bun, making his face looking softer and gentler. He was wearing muggle clothes, a blue jumper and a pair of deep blue jeans that fitted him perfectly. Harry thought that blue really looked good on him, because it highlighted the color of his eyes and made a beautiful contrast with his pale skin. He was fitter, and Harry felt like he was looking at him for the first time in his life. At school he always was so composed, dressed in traditional wizard clothes, perfectly neat with impeccably hair, pulled back by lot of hair gel. On the contrary, now he seemed more relaxed and friendlier.  
While Malfoy was talking with Ron, his gaze bore into Harry and he thought he could have get lost in those shimmering grey eyes. He couldn’t help but think that Malfoy was… well, handsome. Oh my god, he probably was going mad.

“There’s no need to be so hostile Weasley; I assure you I’m as astonished by this as you. We arrived here yesterday and we'll come back home in six days.”

“Oh. We’re staying here six days too. How did you know about this place?” Hermione intervened, her curiosity taking the best on her.

“Pansy saw it in a stupid magazine. If you’re finished with this interrogation, I’ll go have dinner. I guess we’ll see each other around. Have a good evening.” Malfoy said it looking straight to Harry and smirking. He used to smirk an awful lot during school, but now it was different, it lacked the usual arrogance it had, looking more like an actual smile and Harry thought he saw sparkles all around him. Was something like that even possible? People surely didn’t sparkle, he was definitely going crazy. Maybe he needed to change his glasses once back in England. 

“Uh, yes, you too.” Harry missed entirely what Malfoy said to the others, so he tried for casual conversation. “Well, he changed, don’t you think?”

Ginny looked at him with a puzzled face: “What do you mean?”

“I mean, he made his hair grow out: you wouldn’t think it would look nice on a guy, would you? I mean, I thought only Bill could look cool wearing long hair. And he seems taller and umh, fitter? Er, he doesn’t still strike me like the kind of guy who could benefit from an extra meal, you know.” He said that chewing a piece of bread and when he looked up at his friends, they were looking bewildered.

“Harry, why would you notice such things?” Hermione had a strange expression that he couldn’t quite understand; it was like when during school she tried to understand something unusual.  
“And why in hell would you think Malfoy looks good with long hair? He just seems the usual pointy git to me. Anyway, what a rotten luck they’re staying here for holiday too, eh? And they’ll leave our same day! It’s awkward.” Harry was grateful Ron changed the subject because he didn’t know how to answer them; he simply was used to study Malfoy very carefully.  
After Hermione reminded Ron that they didn’t have to spend time together and that yes, it was a strange coincidence but that was it, they moved on to more carefree talk. Once in a while Harry risked a peek at Malfoy who was eating and chatting happily with his friends. Parkinson was sitting practically on his lap and for some reason that was bothering Harry: did it mean they were together? But rumors had it Malfoy was single… anyway he didn’t care if Malfoy was dating someone or not, as far as he’s concerned, Malfoy could also date a Hippogriff.  
After dinner there was the dessert: it was a chocolate Pandoro, covered in a cream that the owner told them was called “mascarpone cream”. At the top of it there were strawberries and raspberries. They never ate this particular sweet, but it was delicious, and Ron was already asking for the recipe of the cream. When Harry looked up again at Malfoy, he was licking the mascarpone cream off the Pandoro and he made a delighted face, closing his eyes and licking his lips. Harry’s mouth went dry and he felt a strong desire of licking the cream off of Malfoy’s lips; they seemed so soft and sweet. Fuck, where did these thoughts come from?!  
In that moment Malfoy looked his way and found Harry staring at him; he nodded at him, took a strawberry and very slowly, very deliberately, _sucked_ on it. Harry gulped loudly. Of course, he was imagining things, it was impossible Malfoy was… flirting with him?! Anyhow, he could feel himself getting hard only by looking at Malfoy closing his lips on that strawberry. He felt he was blushing and quickly looked away.

“Harry are you ok?” Ginny seemed concerned and put a hand on Harry’s forehead. “Oh my, you’re hot! Are you sure you didn’t get a fever?”

“N-no, I’m okay Gin, I guess it’s just the wine and the heat from the fire place. I’ll go a minute in the bathroom to cool off.” Once there Harry took a deep breath and tried to relax. He had a hard-on because of Malfoy. It wasn’t the end of the world, right? … oh Merlin, it was a disaster. Why did it happen? Was he gay? But he never… Ok, he needed to calm down. Surely it was a long time since he last got laid, that was it. He needed a good shag, or yes, a wank more likely, since he broke up with Ginny, and everything would be back to normal.

His erection was barely gone when Ron entered the bathroom. “Oi mate, do you need something? I wanted to talk with you about Ginny. I’m not angry, you know that, right? A bit sad, surely. I thought you were meant to be, but if you tell me you’re sure…”

“Yes Ron, I am sure. Thank you, really. I’ll make it through.”

“I’m sure you’ll do, you always can. Just tell me if you need anything, ok? I’ll be there for Ginny obviously but I’m here for you too.”

“Ron, that’s really.. thanks.” Ron clapped Harry’s shoulder and they walked back to the dining room. Once sat at the table again, they began to plan what to do the next day; Hermione suggested to go ice skating with Ginny while Ron and Harry could have explored the surroundings to discover places to visit together another day. Harry really wanted to go to the skating rink, but he understood that Ginny would have wanted a bit of free time with a good friend, so he easily accepted the idea. Now they were very tired though, because of the long day and the walk, and they were already thinking about going to bed early, when the Slytherins started clapping and acclaiming Malfoy who was standing up and walking over to the piano.

“Ok ok, I’ll play but only one song!” Malfoy's playful voice resounded loud in the room. Could Malfoy play the piano? Harry had no idea, but then again, why should he?  
All the diners went silent and Malfoy started playing a peaceful and harmonious symphony which reminded Harry of something muggle his aunt Petunia usually put on while cleaning the house. “He plays Mozart so gracefully. I would have never imagined he knew a muggle compositor.” Mozart! That’s who he was! Thanks Hermione who always knew everything.

Harry was mesmerized by the sight of Malfoy sat there playing the piano: his eyes were almost closed, a smile of pure bliss, a crease between his eyebrows for the concentration. His body was moving together with the music, like he was one with the piano and the sound emerged directly from his elegant fingers, and some strands of hair were falling off the bun, making him look more carefree and tousled.

When he switched to a more danceable composition, some people got up and started dancing together – “It’s a waltz” Hermione informed them – creating a magical atmosphere, without using wands or actual magic. Everyone seemed to be having fun and Harry couldn’t help thinking it was startling that Malfoy was the one allowing all of this in some way. When he finished the waltz, Harry found himself captivated by it, his fingers tapping lightly the table in rhythm. Parkinson was looking their direction and when they crossed the looks, she smiled and waved a hand. Harry awkwardly waved back and searched for Ron, who looked bewildered by the Slytherins being nice to them at least as much as himself.  
“Well, now that I’ve seen Malfoy playing the piano, I can say I’ve seen everything. Let’s go to sleep?”

Once in the room Harry wore his pajama and went to bed trying not to think of Malfoy and his body moving with the music, his lips around the strawberry or his tongue licking the cream, without much luck.

He turned to Ginny: “Good night Ginny.” She gave him a desolate look: “Good night Harry.” Coming to think about it, it probably wasn’t a good idea to still share the room. Tomorrow he would have asked at the reception if there was another possible accommodation. It was a brief thought, immediately replaced by images of milk-white skin and long blond hair. He fell asleep dreaming of running his fingers through that candid hair to find out if it was as soft as it looked, disheveling it and making Malfoy look wilder…

He suddenly woke up in the middle of the night all sweaty and a with a guilty stickiness in his pants. He had Malfoy’s name on his lips and definitely knew he was screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a shorter chapter, but I needed to close the event of their first day on holiday. Stay tuned for the next chapter tomorrow!😉


	3. Chapter 3

**December 23 rd, 2003 – Second day of holiday**

****

After he woke up in the middle of the night, Harry went to the bathroom to have a quick shower. He was still baffled from his dream: he didn’t remember every detail, but he was sure there was Malfoy. And a very naked one too.

_Dream-naked-Malfoy standing in the middle of his room with his hard cock releasing pre-come; dream-naked-Malfoy getting on his knees in front of dream-naked-Harry; dream-Malfoy’s mouth stretched around dream-Harry’s cock; dream-Malfoy wanking himself whilst sucking dream-Harry off; dream-Harry’s come all splattered on dream-Malfoy’s face and chin; dream-Malfoy licking the come off his lips…_

Thinking about it, Harry was so hard again that it ached, and he couldn’t help palming his cock to find some relief. He felt so guilty at the idea of getting off thinking about someone who wasn’t Ginny, never mind _Malfoy,_ who was a _bloke_ , but his erection didn’t show any sign of retreating. Picturing Malfoy’s lips on his prick, Harry brought himself over the edge with a few strong strokes and it was one of the most intense orgasm he ever had.  
So, not only he had inappropriate thoughts about the biggest git he knew, but he also was sexually active all of a sudden. Great.  
He finished to wash himself and exited the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Ginny was luckily still asleep. He looked at her, illuminated by the light of the moon that peeped out from the slightly apart tents of the window. She had a crease on her forehead, she often had it and Harry had a strong feeling of melancholy of all those nights spent talking about their future together, the possible wedding, the children… She didn’t look like someone who was having a good sleep and thinking about it, she never did. They could have been spared of lots of struggles and problems if they talked sooner about their feelings. Anyway, what was done was done; Harry put on his pajama again and he lied down on the bed careful not to wake Ginny up. He took his wand and casted a _Tempus_ to know the time: 5 a.m.. In less than 3 hours the alarm would have rang and Harry knew that those would have been 3 loooong hours.

* * *

They day before they had decided to have breakfast at 8:00 a.m. with Ron and Hermione so they woke up at 7:30 a.m. to get ready. Harry told Ginny he wanted to check if there was another room available and she agreed it would have been better. They went down for breakfast to found Ron and Hermione sat down besides the Slytherins. After a moment of concern, they joined them. Ron patted the bench next to him to get Ginny near him.

“Good morning guys! Slept well?” Hermione casted a look to Harry and he smiled to her.

“Not bad. Why are we together with them?” he threw his thumb towards Malfoy and the others.

“Potter, I’m happy to see you too.” Malfoy was eating a toasted piece of bread with butter and jam and a bit of jam was gathered at the corner of his lips. Harry blushed fervently, remembering his dream, and he sat next to Hermione.

“Well, we’re the only one here for breakfast at this time, and we thought it was silly to sit at different tables. Do you like it here?” Goyle was trying to be friendly; Goyle! If he could do it, unquestionably Harry could too. Anyway, Ginny answered first: “Mmmh, yes, I like this place, it’s just a bit isolated, don’t you think?”

“It’s a small wizard village, it’s supposed to be hard to find but yes, I think it’s a bit too isolated myself.” Blaise was calmly pouring some coffee into his mug and Harry asked him to pass him the coffee pot.

“Watch out Potty, this is very strong coffee and we wouldn’t want our great Savior to lose his famous ability to speak because of a burnt throat.” Only Malfoy could still call him with such nicknames.

“Thanks for the advice Malfoy. How’s your buttered bread? I didn’t think ferret could eat it.”

“Hey you two, don’t start. We’re here on holiday, don’t ruin it!” Ron was rolling his eyes and Harry stuck out his tongue to him.

“Very mature Potter, did they teach you that at Auror training?”

“Draco, Ron’s right, shut it. You argue like an old married couple! And hurry up, we’re ready to go but you.” Nott was getting up from the table with the others.

Malfoy drank what remained of his coffee with milk – what a wuss! - and, before reaching them, stretched out his hand towards Harry: “Truce?” he winked, and Harry dropped his gaze to his hand. Malfoy had very elegant hands, with long fingers and cured nails and Harry wondered how it would have been to have them circled around his cock.

Hermione elbowed him in the ribs and Harry raised his head: Malfoy was looking at him with a high eyebrow and was waiting with his hand stretched out. Harry cleared his throat and shook his hand: “Whatever Malfoy.” He shook his hand vigorously and Harry didn’t expect his hands to be so warm, so when they touched, he gasped for the surprise; he always thought Malfoy as a cold type of person, interiorly as exteriorly. Malfoy left his hand and gave him a knowing smile, getting up and turning to reach his friends.

“Wow mate, I have to say that seeing you and Malfoy shaking hands was an extreme experience. Shall we go too?”

Hermione and Ginny prepared to go to the skating rink while Ron was looking again what route should they try today. Harry went to the reception where the receptionist told him that if he made up the difference between costs of a single room and a double one, he could have settled into a room that was freed the day before. Harry payed and went to Ginny’s room to collect his belongings and move. His new room was at the end of the corridor, right next… “Hey Potter, trouble in paradise?” Malfoy emerged from the room besides his and regarded him playfully. “Shut it Malfoy. Didn’t we call the truce?” He could maybe be the new star of Harry’s dreams, but he was also the same fucking insufferable ponce.

“Yeah, friends can make a joke, right?” now Malfoy was laughing lightly, and Harry stopped with his hand on the doorknob of the opened door, looking at the rare vision of Draco Malfoy laughing. It was… fascinating. He looked younger.

“We’re not friends Malfoy, but if you want to, you can help me bringing my suitcase into the room. It’s so heavy I don’t think I can make it alone.” Harry pulled him a face and entered the room with Malfoy right behind him. “Malfoy, what the fuck? I was kidding.”

“What? I wanted to see if your room is different. But it seems the same as mine. Poor Potter, do you think they know who you are? We should complain immediately that the British hero didn’t get a suite!” Harry couldn’t help laughing at that and looked around himself. The room was more than fine to him.

“Please, you know I’m not a bitch for the glory. I like being anonymous sometimes. Now, if you please, I’d like to unpack my things. Don’t you have plans for the day?”

“Anonymous, eh? See you later Potter.” Malfoy looked interested and he had a soft glimmer in his eyes that Harry couldn’t quite figure out.

Some minutes later Ron entered his new room holding a map: “I say we try to use something muggle sometimes, like this map. Imagine a day your wand breaks at work and you have to make it without magic, better be ready!”

“Ron, we always have a spare wand for that. If you want to learn muggle stuff there’s no need to find a justification with me. Where are we going?”

Ron grinned and explained to him his idea: “I thought we could go to the village and buy something to eat for lunch. Then maybe we could go see where’s the ski run and reach the girls at the skating rink. I know they wanted to be alone, but by the time we’ll finish they’ll have had a lot of time together. What do you think?”

“Sounds great to me. Give me a second to finish unpack and I’ll be ready."

* * *

It was 4 p.m. when they finally finished their tour and arrived at the ice rink. Hermione and Ginny were nowhere to be seen; they were probably tired and came back to the retreat. Ron and Harry were discussing about coming back when the unmistakable voice of Draco Malfoy came from Harry’s back: “What a coincidence!”

“Draco be kind” Nott was already rolling his eyes and nodded to greet Ron and Harry. They nodded back to all the gang and Malfoy shot again maliciously: “I am kind. I was just wondering why you two were looking at the rink without entering it. Scared of hitting your pretty arse on the ice, Potter?” 

Harry, who wasn’t able to resist when it came to Malfoy, shot back: “You wish! We were just getting ready to enter and I can bet my ass that I’m much better than you at skating, just like at flying!”

Ron whispered to him: “Mate, he just said you have a pretty arse! What a git!” Harry pretended to not have heard anything and went to wear a pair of ice-skates. He tried not to think too much about what Malfoy said: he was probably just mocking him, like he always did.  
The guys got excited at the idea of a challenge between the two of them and Ron and Blaise started listing the conditions: they would have had to make 3 laps of the ice and the first one to arrive would be the winner. Also, they could obtain more points if they made figures or specific ice-skating steps. They couldn’t harm the other or use magic. They all watched as Nott and Goyle started the race whistling together and Draco and Harry sped away like the wind. Harry only heard Pansy shouting: “Go Draco, kick his _pretty_ ass!!”

Harry was going as fast as he could, just a fraction of second behind Malfoy; they were doing the third lap when it started to snow. Harry had almost outdone Malfoy when he turned so that he was in front of Harry, skating backwards, and he was so beautiful Harry couldn’t breathe. The wind all around them made his hair dancing around his face and he was covered in snow, making him look like an angel. It was a second of distraction but enough to made Harry stumble, falling right on top of Malfoy. They fell with a loud thump and Harry used his Auror reflexes to preserve Malfoy’s head from crushing too hard on the ice. “Fuck! Sorry Malfoy! Are you hurt??”

“Mpf…Potter, get off me, you’re crushing me! Ouch.”

“Ehy, I saved your head, you could thank me!”

“And still, you’re on top of me! What, do you like it? Get off!”

“I… what… fuck you!” Harry blushed and quickly stood up, stretching a hand to help Malfoy too.

They were now standing so close together that Harry could feel Malfoy panting on his face. He glanced very quickly at his lips that were slightly parted and red from the wind; Harry felt a sudden urge to warm them with his tongue.

“What?” Malfoy looked confused. Oh my god, he didn’t say that tongue-lips thing aloud, right?! “W-what?”

“Do not echo me! You’re looking at me in a strange way.”

“That’s not true! I… umh…” and then Harry did the only thing he could think of to escape that awkwardness: he ran away from Malfoy, arriving first to their friends.

After a moment Malfoy arrived too, looking pretty much thundery. “Potter! You’re a fucking cheater!”

“Am not!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

With every word, they approached, balling their fists to one another.

“Ok, stop! What happened?” Pansy stood between the two of them.

“Potter crushed on me and then ran away!”

“Well, that’s not cheating. He’s just smarter than you, accept it. Harry won! Name your prize!” Ron was grinning like mad and Malfoy huffed, crossing arms.

“Mmmh I didn’t think about a prize. How much time do I have to decide it?”

“Until dinner.” Blaise intervened. “Now, let’s come back, I’m freezing.”

Malfoy went to take off his ice-skates giving Harry dirty looks that aroused him to no end. Harry couldn’t explain it, but when Malfoy was so skittish, he had this insane wish of punish him to take those smirks off his face.  
For Merlin’s sake, he needed to talk with Hermione about this situation; it was becoming overwhelming.

* * *

When they came back Harry took a shower and he changed for dinner. They decided to have dinner together with Malfoy and the others to get to know Harry’s reward.

Truth was, he didn’t know what to ask. During shower he thought of a very specific request he could have done to Malfoy, but it wasn’t appropriate, to be honest.

In the end he settled to ask Malfoy to offer him the best whiskey in the retreat. It wasn’t much but maybe luckily, they would have all been drunk and could spend a light evening together.

They met in the dining room and everyone couldn’t wait anymore to know what Harry decided: Ron and the others told Ginny and Hermione what happened and now they were curious too.  
When he told them, they were disappointed. Malfoy, on the other hand, winked at him and asked for the most expensive whiskey of the house. They brought them an aged 35 years Old Ogden’s Firewhiskey that was ridiculously good as much as expensive.  
Harry wasn’t used to such strong drinks, but he really liked that Firewhiskey, so he drank a lot and he felt dizzy very soon.

At one point, all Harry could hear was silence; he looked around himself and couldn’t see anyone but Malfoy.

“Malf…oy!” He said it sobbing for the alcohol in his body.

“What Potter?” Malfoy seemed far too sober.

“Why a’we alone?” The room was starting to spin and he clinged to the armrests of the couch he was sitting on.

“The others went to sleep about half an hour ago Potter, it’s late. You threw yourself on the couch and I thought it was best not to leave you alone like this.”

“Such a nice thought. I’m feeling fiiiiine! Fine fine fine fine!” Harry felt he was grinning like an idiot and he didn’t even know why.

“Mh mh. Here: drink this.” He gave Harry a vial with a clear liquid in it. Harry sized it and took a sip.

“Wow you’re very drunk if you’re trusting a potion I’m giving to you without explanation.” Malfoy was smiling and he was fucking beautiful.

“Mmh I’m just a trusting person. And I’m feeling so better! I’ve just a headache. Was it a sober up potion?”

“Yep. 10 points to Gryffindor!” Harry pulled a face and Malfoy moved nearer him on the couch.

“Now we are alone Potter, do tell me: what is that you really want as a prize?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Malfoy.” Harry’s voice trembled and he immediately closed his mouth to prevent himself saying stupid things such as _Kiss me now Malfoy!_

“OK, let’s play a game then, shall we? Since you’d like to be anonymous as you said earlier, let’s pretend we don’t know each other. You’re whoever you want to be: what would you want from me, Potter?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm updating so late, but my life is a bit wild lately so I really hadn't material time to publish this!

**_Night between December 23rd and 24th, 2003_ **

“Err… I think I’d like a cup of tea.” Harry felt a swell of nervousness in his belly and needed to calm down. He had a flirty Malfoy for himself and he couldn’t resist him anymore. Malfoy simply smirked to him and they went to prepare a hot tea for Malfoy and a chamomile for Harry; the kitchen was always open to the guests of the retreat. Once they were ready, they came back to the couch in front of the hearth and Harry immediately felt better and relaxed, sitting there with Malfoy next to him thinking about nothing in particular, and it didn’t feel strange or abnormal; just two guys sipping hot drinks and dying of unresolved sexual tension. After a moment like that, Harry decided to take control of the situation.

“Ok, you said anonymous eh? Well, I think I’d like to know something about yourself, before…” Harry dropped the sentence, blushing.

“Before?” Malfoy was looking intently at him.

“Umh, well, before snogging you?” Wow, that was transparent. Also, not something he wanted to say, but well, it came out.

“Would you now?” Malfoy asked smugly.

“I told you, I’d like to know something about you. And I don’t see this going really well between us.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Really? Okay, tell me about your childhood Malfoy.” Harry rolled his eyes because he knew there was no way he would -

“No, not Malfoy. Let’s say I’m… Rick. Pleasure to meet you…?”

“You’re an idiot.” Harry laughed and then “I’m Josh.”

Malfoy smiled politely as if he really was talking with a stranger and rested lightly a hand on Harry’s thigh. He shivered at the touch and could already feel arousal pulling in his veins.

“Josh, what an interesting name. You said you wanted to know about my childhood?” Harry nodded, amused.

“I’m a very private person, Josh. And I don’t trust people easily. I need to know I’ll get something in exchange.”  
Harry was now engrossed in this game of them and decided to go with it. He reached Malfoy’s ear and licked it, whispering to him: “If you answer me you get to ask me something too. Anything. And… - he paused sucking slowly Malfoy’s earlobe – maybe you’ll get something else too.”

Malfoy gasped and let out a little sigh of contentment: “I had a good childhood: my parents loved me and always spoiled me with any kind of presents. On the other hand, my father was never proud of me and he wanted me to follow his steps, no matter what. I was what one would call a “bully”, who used others’ flaws to hurt them, avoiding thinking about himself and what he loathed about himself." Malfoy paused, looking at Harry searching for a sign it was too much. "Is this too many information? Let’s talk about you.”

Harry was staring at him. “You seem very conscious of yourself and your errors. That’s…interesting. What about me?”

“Your childhood, Josh. An eye for an eye.”

“Well, I… hadn’t a proper one. My parents died when I was 1 year old, and I was sent to live with my mother’s sister but she hated me because she’s a muggle and she was jealous of my mother’s powers. I grew up living in the cupboard under the stairs of my aunt’s house, never had a friend and never knew I was a wizard. I discovered it the day I turned 11 years old and started to go to Hogwarts.” Fuck, he never was so straight about this with anyone, not even Ron or Hermione.

Malfoy was looking at him with widened eyes and a crease between his eyebrows. “Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately, yes. But don’t worry, I grew up fine after I discovered I’m a wizard and now I’m happy with my life. Sort of.”

“That’s not true! You discovered you’re a wizard, but you also became aware of Voldemort and he tried to kill you since your first year at Hogwarts!” Whatever spell made Malfoy caress Harry’s leg, it broke, because he took away his hand, troubled. Tough Harry liked it, so he was very disappointed, and he remember why he never was so direct about his childhood; he didn’t like when others looked at him with pity.

“Didn’t we say we don’t know each other?” it probably came out colder than intended, but Malfoy wasn’t looking at him with pity, he seemed angry.

“The fuck we don’t! Potter I didn’t know, we.. no one knows! What the fuck, you didn’t know you’re a wizard until you turned 11 yo? That’s so unfair!” Malfoy looked on the verge of a crisis and Harry found he actually liked this kind of protective Malfoy, so he tried to defuse the weight that came with his childhood.

“Ok listen, I appreciate you now care about other people’s lives, but maybe we can talk about these things another time? I was hoping you could help me with something else, instead.” He hoped he sounded mischievous. 

“…what?”

“Are you with someone?” Malfoy’s gaze bore into Harry. Thinking about it, it wasn’t probably ideal flirting with someone else so shortly after his breakup with Ginny, with her literally at one floor of distance, but he couldn’t resist it. He felt this fucking strong attraction to Malfoy since he first saw him again and he was exploding with wanting him. A man had his limits!

“Very strong skill of deduction, I see. No, I’m single Potter. Thing I’m not sure I can say about you.”

“Umh, well, when you saw me moving to the room next to yours, well it was because we broke up. We…wanted different things.”

“What is it that you want, then?” Malfoy returned to move his hand up and down Harry’s thigh, sending jolts of excitement through his entire body.

Harry lose it; he jumped on Malfoy’s lap and kissed him. Malfoy seemed a bit surprised but quickly recovered and responded to the kiss, opening his mouth and licking Harry’s bottom lip. Harry reached with his hand the hair tie that was gathering Malfoy’s hair in a loose tail and took it off: he finally could rank his hand through his hair and it was even silkier than he could have ever imagined or dreamed. He closed his hand and yanked at his hair, pulling his head back and deepening the kiss. He bit Malfoy’s lips and Malfoy slipped a hand under Harry’s jumper, touching him and making the most hypnotizing sounds Harry ever heard.

When they came up for air, Malfoy was more beautiful than ever: he looked messy with full lips from kissing and eyes filled with lust, eyelids heavy with want. “Fuck Potter if you look so sexy just kissing, I can’t wait to know how you’re when you’re fucking.” Malfoy had a breathy voice and started kissing Harry’s throat all the way down to his collarbone and up again. Harry felt like he discovered for the first time how good kissing was.

“Malfoy… before anything else can happen… I, umh, think I’ve to tell you something. Err, I didn’t ever make, umh… anything, with a man.”

Malfoy stopped kissing him and looked up into his eyes: “Are you telling me I’m your first man experience? Fuck, that’s hot.” He grabbed Harry from the legs and got up from the couch: “Tell me what you want, I’ll show you everything.”

Harry couldn’t say anything, he was so aroused he couldn’t think straight; he yanked at Malfoy’s hair stronger, pulling his head back and tracing a slow lick along his throat. He couldn’t recognize himself. It never was that good to have sex before, it was like someone else Imperiused him to do all of these things. With a rough voice he started saying things that he allowed himself only in his dreams: “I want you to suck my cock, to make me cry and take every single drop of my come down your throat. God, I want to enjoy every minute with you, I want you to show me how to drive you crazy… I want this and more.” Harry murmured in Malfoy’s ear and he could feel his cock bobbing harder in his pants with every image that formed with what he was saying to him.

Malfoy grabbed Harry tighter and Disapparated them into his room. “You already are driving me crazy Potter. You’ve got a filthy mouth, you know.” He stripped Harry, pushing him on the bed and undressing himself right after. He run hungry hands all over Harry’s body and kissed the way down to his cock. Harry was more excited than he could remember in all his life and when Malfoy took his cock into his mouth, he let out a cry and put his hand through his hair. It was almost embarrassing how much he was enjoying it, begging and gasping and almost meowling sometimes, but Malfoy didn’t seem affect: he was giving head like it was the best thing in the world, sucking on Harry's cock with fervor and licking it just at the right moment and in the right way. Harry felt close really soon, but Malfoy slowed down, reaching for his nipple with a hand and stimulating it, making Harry’s back arching at the touch and raising goosebumps on his skin. Harry couldn’t believe how little he knew about himself and what he liked.

Then Malfoy dropped his hand lower, fondling his balls, and this sight only aroused Harry like mad; but when Malfoy opened his eyes locking gaze with him and tooking his own prick in his hand, wanking himself while sucking Harry off, it was too much: Harry started thrusting his hips forward to meet Malfoy’s moves until with a feeble warning: “Malfoy I’m… I’m…” he was coming in long hot spurts down Malfoy’s throat: he swallowed it and for the last drops he let go of Harry’s prick, placing his lips right at the tip of it and letting Harry's come splatter all over his lips and chin. It was absolutely the hottest thing Harry ever saw and when he thought it couldn’t get any better, Malfoy licked his lips to collect every drop and wiped his chin with his hand where he couldn’t reach with his tongue.

Harry was breathing hard and he felt drained of every strength, but he wanted to make Malfoy lose it like he did to him. Malfoy still had a loosened grip on his cock and Harry pushed his hand away. He pulled Malfoy on top of him and started wanking him, staring into his face that was one of complete abandonment. Harry kissed Malfoy (he discovered he really loved doing that) and tried something he did to himself many times, hoping it was good to Malfoy too. He murmured a spell that lubricated his fingers: with his hand he reached between the crease of Draco’s arse and started circling the rim of his arsehole, waiting for his response. Malfoy let out a high cry and immediately after a soft gasp escaped his sweet lips, resounding into Harry’s mouth and he arched his body towards him, starting to feel aroused all over again. He pushed a finger inside Malfoy and started fucking him with it; Malfoy met every push with a thrust of his hips, moaning and begging for more. Harry’s cock was fully hard again, and he wanted to see more, to do more, so he switched Malfoy to position himself behind him and see his finger sink into his arse. It was so hot and warm and Harry felt he wanted to taste Malfoy’s deep flavor; he didn’t know if it was something he could do or if it would have been too weird but he collected all his Gryffindor courage and placed his lips on the rim of his arsehole, kissing it and licking around his own finger until he pulled it away and started slipping his tongue inside Malfoy, licking and sucking and he loved it.  
Malfoy’s reaction was priceless: he grabbed the bed sheets until he had white knuckles and was repeating Harry’s name as in a singsong “Harry, oh yes yes Harry, you’re wonderful, _HarryHarryHarry_ …” and it was probably the use of his first name, but Harry couldn’t resist anymore. He stroke himself, climaxing too soon for someone who already had an orgasm shortly before. A moment later Malfoy was coming untouched all over the sheets, crying out loud and Harry hoped they remembered to silence the room.

They flopped on the bed, exhausted, and Malfoy smiled to Harry: “And this would be you first experience?”

Harry was panting and was still awestruck about what happened: “What can I say, you make me dirty. I didn’t even know what I was doing half the time.”

“Gosh, you’re so sexy Harry.” Malfoy yawned and closed his eyes. “Mmmh, I’m tired. Stay here for the night.”

Harry didn’t need to be asked twice; he felt spent and couldn’t think of another place he wanted to be.

“ _Oh.My.God.I.Am.Very.Gay_ ” was his last thought before slipping into Morpheus’ arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I finished this! I'm sorry it took so long.  
> I hope you'll like it☺️

**_24th December, 2003_ **

Harry woke up feeling completely relaxed and sated; it was an eternity since the last time he had a good night of sleep and he was surprised. He didn’t immediately open his eyes, savoring this sluggishness and he stretched on the bed. Extending his arm, he felt a solid body at his side and for a moment he panicked: did he come back to Ginny’s room that night? Why? What… 

He abruptly opened his eyes and screamed: “Malfoy? What the fuck are you doing in my bed?!” His heart beat raised, riskily near to have a panic attack, when he remembered last night. Fuck, he did really gay things and with Malfoy, of all people.  
He sat on the bed while Malfoy opened slowly his eyes, looking at Harry with sleepiness: “Nnh, wha happen’?”  
Harry realized why he did these things: Malfoy was painfully beautiful. He stroke gently his hair and Malfoy smiled with his eyes closed again; it was weird seeing him so peaceful. Weird, and extremely rewarding to know that _he_ was the reason of Malfoy’s amiability.

“Malfoy, I should come back to my room to have a shower. See you for breakfast?”

“Why would you come back to your room? Take a shower here.” Malfoy said simpering and opening his eyes. Harry grinned and went to the bathroom, thinking of the things he should have done that day: he needed to talk to Ginny of course, but he should ask Hermione’s help first.

Planning his day, he undressed and entered the shower. While the water run on his body, he couldn’t help but scanning the events of last night with his mind and his cock reacted promptly at the suggestions. He was pondering whether or not he should wank with Malfoy in the same room when the door of the shower opened, and a naked Malfoy appeared.

“Mh, I see you already started without me. Bad guy, you need a punishment.” A blush tinted Harry’s cheeks and went all the way down to his chest. Malfoy’s tone was teasing, and Harry felt thousands of butterfly fluttering in his belly for the anticipation.

“I…was very bad indeed. What can I do to get your forgiveness?” Harry asked pretending modesty. Malfoy’s pupils went very dark and he slammed Harry against the walls of the shower. He assaulted Harry’s lips, squeezing his arse and grinding on his cock. He stopped and stared into Harry’s eyes with intensity: “You made me painfully hard. If you say something like that another time, I fear I’ll have to take you straightway.” He hesitated, as if asking for permission to continue and Harry gave it to him: “Do it. Take me.”

Malfoy turned him to face the wall and Harry pulled his arse back in the air. “Fuck, you’re hot like this Harry.” Malfoy had a husky voice that trembled at the end, betraying his confidence. He took a jar from the shelves of the shower, opened it and he dipped a finger into the lube. With the other hand he was caressing Harry’s buttocks; he kissed him on the back of his neck, making him shiver, and he slowly put his finger inside of him.  
Harry was used to it because he often did this to himself and he really enjoyed it so he started thrusting back, searching for more and when Malfoy didn’t complied he begged for it: “For Merlin’s sake Malfoy, I’m not a princess, give me more!”

“You said you didn’t have experience! If you want to be ruined, you just have to ask.”

With a rough voice he could just manage to say “Please”; it sounded like a prayer and maybe it really was.

Malfoy immediately responded, adding a second and then a third finger. When Harry cried out and started babbling nonsense, Malfoy lubricated his cock and put it at the rim of Harry's hole, warm and pliant. “Aah, fuck Harry, are you sure?”  
“God, yes Draco, yes, I’m sure.” Malfoy grabbed Harry’s hips to stabilize himself and bended over him, whispering encouragements at his ear whilst thrusting forward with his cock. Harry closed his hands on the wall and Malfoy entwined their fingers. When he filled entirely Harry, he paused, giving him time to adjust.  
“Nnnh, ah yesss, is this OK?” This caring Malfoy was fascinating for Harry. “Yes, I feel…full. You can, aaah, move”. And when Malfoy moved, after a brief moment of pain, Harry felt a pleasure so intense that he thought he couldn’t do it until the end.  
Malfoy thrusted into him with increasing force, hitting a spot that was making Harry’s knees wobble. Malfoy slipped an arm to his waist to hold him and took his cock in his hand: “Come Harry, come for me.” It was the last straw: Harry came crying out Draco’s name and he followed just after, filling Harry with come.  
It was the first time Harry had sex with a man and he already felt addicted to it.  
Malfoy slipped out of him and rested his head on his back, panting heavily: “It was…Perfect.” Harry turned to face Malfoy and they smiled to each other: he couldn’t think of anything else that felt so good, so _right_! 

* * *

They went downstairs to have breakfast at different times, to not arouse suspects. When Harry saw Ginny at the table, he felt a stab of guilt and a vague sense of nausea for what he did.  
After breakfast he asked Hermione a moment to talk and they went outside to have a walk while the others were getting ready to go skiing.  
He told her everything – without too many details – and in the end he felt exhausted. It was too much for just a day, but that was it. After she listened to his story she sighed and stopped walking, looking at him: “Harry, I don’t know what to say. It was a bit sudden surely. Anyway, you seem… happy. If this is who you are, I’m glad you made out you’re gay Harry. I was joking the first day we arrived here, but I suspected something like that. You always payed particular attention to other guys, such as Bill, Cedric or… well, yes, Malfoy too. You have to tell Ginny though, you know it, right?” They shared a knowing look and came back to the retreat to join the others. They went to skiing with the Slytherins and they had a good afternoon all in all.

They came back early to have the dinner of Christmas’ Eve that the owner told them being a heartfelt tradition in Italy. Once back in the retreat, Harry knocked at Ginny’s room and he was still searching for the right words when she opened the door. She smiled to him and welcomed him inside. “Harry, is everything ok?”

“Yes, yes, I just need to tell you something. It’s not easy…” Harry paused, not knowing how to say it.

“Just tell me, I’m here.” Ginny was reassuring, so he took the bull by the horns and started explaining to her how he felt something when he saw Malfoy there at the retreat; how he sometimes thought about other guys but was convinced it was something subconscious, happening only during dreams, a phase; how he never had wanted to hurt her but just couldn’t figure himself out; how he felt right kissing Malfoy and how he realized he always felt something pushing him to Malfoy.

When he finished to talk, Ginny was silent for a couple of minutes that seemed hours to Harry. Finally, she looked at him and she hugged him tightly, tears in her eyes. “Oh Harry. I think it’s wonderful you got to finally make peace with yourself! You know, I’d like to be angry with you, to scream at you and to tell you you’re a cheater for staying with someone else so shortly after our breakup… but the truth is that you’re my friend and, even if I’m sad about our situation, I’m happy for you and I hope you’ll feel better from now on.” Harry was moved from the strength Ginny’s showed and some few stubborn tears were stuck in his lashes. “Thank you Gin, you’re wonderful.” She smiled, and Harry came back to his room to dress for the dinner.

It really was something huge: the tables were adorned for Christmas in big style with candles, lights, Santa’s socks hang above the fire place and Harry saw that they put a big star on the top of the pine tree outside the retreat.

When they arrived, they learnt that in Italy it’s tradition to eat fish for Christmas’ Eve. There was food everywhere; it was settled as a buffet and Ron’s dishes were already full to capacity. Harry took a dish for himself and sat next to him.

“Ron don’t take this in the wrong way, but I have to tell you something. Umh, ok well, I… er, I’m gay.” Ron choked on the stuff squids he was eating and starting coughing, making his eyes watery. Harry poured calmly a glass of water for him and, after Ron drank it, he took a deep breath:

“Blimey Harry you can’t say something like that as if you’re saying you like butterbear more than wine! Umh, it’s ok mate. I kinda got it. You fancy Malfoy, don’t you?” Ron pulled a disgusted face to mock him.

“Ron, since when are you that good at grasping details?”

“Since I’m married to Hermione, mate. Either I understand things, or she starts yelling at me that I don’t get anything because I’m a man, I’m careless etc etc.” They laughed together, and Harry was glad how things turned out well with his friends.

He risked a peek at Malfoy, who sat at another table facing him, and they locked gaze. Malfoy picked up a strawberry and licked it and this time Harry knew how good felt to have those lips for himself and he didn’t feel wrong for having an erection looking at a guy.

After dinner they moved to the entrance hall, sitting on the couches and armchairs with the other guests. Ginny told Harry that the day after she would have come back home; she was fine with him, but in this moment she needed to stay with her family for Christmas. He hugged her and kissed her on the forehead; he could understand that, even if he felt guilty. She went to her room to prepare everything for the departure next morning early, greeting everyone. “Don’t feel bad about it Harry, it’s normal. At first, it’ll be a bit weird between you.” Hermione tried to comfort him.  
In that moment, someone put on some Christmas music and people started dancing and singing and Malfoy approached him:

“Potter, don’t you dance? I remember an astounding performance at Yule Ball by you.” He was snickering and stretched out a hand towards him.

“Ah-ah, you obviously know I can’t dance.” But he took his hand anyway and let Malfoy drag him to the center of the room to dance together. He hadn’t any skill for that, but they didn’t care: they moved in time with music, laughing of youngness and being stupid together.

They were dancing a slow song when something hit Harry on the head and he looked up to find who was doing that: a magical mistletoe extended over them and wouldn’t have let them free until they had kissed. They looked around themselves: everyone was immersed in their things, so no one was paying attention to them. They shared a fiery kiss and the mistletoe pulled back. When they broke the kiss, Harry looked outside the window: it was snowing hard and a heavy wind was blowing, making the trees outside shake dangerously.

“Bloody hell, did you see outside?” Harry grabbed Malfoy from the elbow and hauled him near the windows.

“Mmmh, you know, my mother used to call this “cuddle weather”.” 

“Are you kidding me? Narcissa Malfoy knows words like “cuddle”?”

Malfoy shoved lightly Harry by the shoulder: “Don’t be a dick Potter. She was affectionate with me. You just smashed your occasion to receive my special cuddles.”

Harry couldn’t resist laughing: “My, my, you’re soppy, aren’t you?” Malfoy pulled out his tongue and crossed his arms, pretending to be offended. Harry smiled and hugged him to smooth him. Holding hands, they went to wish a good night to Ron and Hermione and came back to Malfoy’s room.

Tomorrow it would have been Christmas; it wouldn’t have been a regular one, but at least Harry knew how to spend a worthy time now. Cuddles and sex sounded like a good plan to him.

**_Epilogue_ **

“Room 34, as you asked.” The receptionist gave Harry a key and he turned to Draco. “I booked the very one where everything started: how good a husband am I?”

Draco rolled his eyes: “If you had told me the destination of our trip, then you would have been a good husband. You know I don’t like surprises.”

Harry smiled to him: it wasn’t true, Draco loved when Harry made him surprises, but he liked to have the last word on everything.

They enchanted their suitcases to go to their room whilst they practically run to the entrance hall where they shared their first kiss. “There’s still the big pine tree outside, do you see it? Aw, you can’t tell me you’re not happy of being here with me! Look, there’s also the couch where we had our first kiss!”

Draco hugged him from behind: “You get excited far too easily Potter. However, I can admit it is a nice thought from you.” 

“Don’t call me Potter! I tell you every day from 5 years, I’m your husband, for Merlin’s sake!”

“Mmmh, would you prefer Josh?”

“That’s a game we play only in bed, Rick.” Harry turned to face him and smirked.

They sat on the couch and Draco ordered a hot tea, Harry a chamomile.

“You know, even now, after 5 years of marriage, I still love that you always taste like chamomile. I noticed it the very first time we kissed, and it never faded. It’s so… you.” Draco paused to take a sip of his tea. “I love you, Harry.”

Harry smiled fondly to him. They made a very long road to arrive where they were now, but it was worth every quarrel, every cry, every laugh and every kiss.

“I love you too, Draco.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you'll stay here to read the continuation in the next days! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are really appreciated.😍
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://drarryruinedme7.tumblr.com/) or [LJ](https://drarryruinedme7.livejournal.com/).


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